Posts filed under 'Humour'

Dear Squirrel, I attach my nuts in support of this unicycle...

by Brett Iredale October 1, 2009

Anyone who can work the words 'squirrel' and 'unicycle' into a job ad deserves a medal. 
Never mind SARA awards, SEEK should start handing out monthly creative ad writing prizes.

I felt like applying for this job just so I could have a crack at the cover letter...





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JobAdder video from recruitTECH2009

by Brett Iredale September 21, 2009

This is the video we put together as part of our recruitTECH2009 presentation titled "Creating a world class careers site"

Enjoy.





Note : This video is intended for entertainment purposes only.  Take from it what you will.

Very special thanks to Darren and Stuart for their hard work filming and producing this video.



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Fantastic online CV

by Brett Iredale July 29, 2009

Checkout this example of a creative online CV.  If you're looking for a slightly nutty french developer then here's your man.

Click on the image below. Requires sound.


Courtesy of http://twitter.com/thomasshaw


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In case of fire alarm please pack your desk and go home in an orderly fashion

by Brett Iredale July 1, 2009



A mass layoff story being reported out of Singapore beggars belief.   The last line is my favourite. "Please move in and try your luck."

"A fire alarm rang at 4PM when almost all shift employees are in office (approx 5000). As usual entire office was evacuated within 3 mins & every employee gathered outside office. 10 mins passed ………. 5 more mins passed………. 5 more mins passed.

Then a Security Officer stated an announcement ‘Dear Employees - With melting heart I am making this announcement that for many of you it will be a last evacuation drill. Due to the recession we are laying off almost 50% of employees. While moving in if your ID card does not work, then you are among those laid off & all your belongings will be couriered to you tomorrow.

We have followed this approach as we didn’t want to fill email box with layoff mails and good bye mails in thousands & also to avoid any fight inside office.

Hope you have a nice career ahead. Please move in & try your luck"





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The social media venn diagram

by Brett Iredale June 15, 2009

Brilliant.




Courtesy of Despair.com

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You've heard of Hire a Hubby but what about "Hire My Hubby"?

by Brett Iredale March 16, 2009

You knows times are bad when your wife is out pimping your services.





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Paris Hilton joins Hilton's HR team

by Brett Iredale February 13, 2009



It looks like Paris has joined Hilton's HR team and they are using her to write job ads on SEEK.

Good for her - it is certainly time she settled down and applied her intelligence to something productive.

Here is an ad she wrote for an Assistant Restaurant Manager at Perth Hilton.

I am sure it makes sense to Paris but I wonder how the ad response is going.....



blah blah blah.....



I was also impressed to see that the careersathilton.com web site that they ask you to visit is down or does not exist. 

That's hot! 



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Cool Koala. Off topic but too good not to publish...

by Brett Iredale February 4, 2009

There is an email doing the rounds this morning with pictures of a koala that ventured on the porch of a house in Victoria this week to seek some refuge from the 40+ degree heat wave. 

He came up for some shade and a drink and proceeded to make himself right at home.... 










(ok we might have added the VB)

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Apply Now : Best Job in the World. No really, this is ACTUALLY the best job in the world...

by Brett Iredale January 12, 2009



In what can only be described as a stroke of genius Queensland Tourism is offering people in 18 countries around the world the chance to land the "best job in the world" as caretaker of Hamilton Island for 6 months. 

Here is the job description from the web site www.islandreefjob.com

About the Job
Tourism Queensland is seeking applicants for the best job in the world! The role of Island
Caretaker is a six-month contract, based on luxurious Hamilton Island in the Great Barrier
Reef. It’s a live-in position with flexible working hours and key responsibilities include
exploring the islands of the Great Barrier Reef to discover what the area has to offer.

You’ll be required to report back on your adventures to Tourism Queensland
headquarters in Brisbane (and the rest of the world) via weekly blogs, photo diary, video
updates and ongoing media interviews. On offer is a unique opportunity to help promote
the wondrous Islands of the Great Barrier Reef.

Other duties may include (but are not limited to)

Feed the fish - There are over 1,500 species of fish living in the Great Barrier Reef. Don’t
worry – you won’t need to feed them all.
Clean the pool - The pool has an automatic filter, but if you happen to see a stray leaf
floating on the surface it’s a great excuse to dive in and enjoy a few laps.
Collect the mail – During your explorations, why not join the aerial postal service for a
day? It’s a great opportunity to get a bird’s eye view of the reef and islands.

About the job package
Living above the Great Barrier Reef is a pretty unique benefit, but the successful
candidate will also be paid a salary package of AUD $150,000 for the six-month contract.
You’ll receive return airfares from your nearest capital city (in your home country),
accommodation and transport on Hamilton Island, travel insurance for the contract period,
computer, internet, digital video and stills cameras access, plus travel to a number of the
other Islands of the Great Barrier Reef. The six-month contract commences 1st July
2009.

About the location
Stretching for 2,600 kilometres, and composed of over 2,900 individual reefs and 900
islands, the Great Barrier Reef in Queensland, Australia is the world’s largest coral reef
system. The World Heritage Listed area supports a diversity of wildlife including whales,
dolphins, sea turtles and more than 1,500 species of fish. The reef is an extremely
popular destination for tourists, sustainably managing approximately 2 million visitors
each year.

Education/Experience Requirements:
A broad range of experience will be considered, but the successful applicant should
posses:
- Excellent interpersonal communication skills
- Good written and verbal English skills
- An adventurous attitude
- Willingness to try new things
- A passion for the outdoors
- Good swimming skills and enthusiasm for snorkelling and/or diving
- Ability to engage with others
- At least one year’s relevant experience

Applicants apply online and submit a 60 minute video which can be viewed and voted on by visitors on the web site.  Brilliant!

So far it looks like only 2 people have applied and they're both Aussies so go on get in there! Good luck.



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Sometimes you just have to describe a job the way it is

by Brett Iredale December 8, 2008

A couple of beauties currently live on SEEK. 

I have always said that a good job description should outline exactly when the toilet breaks are.





Maybe SEEK should consider licensing MyCareer's profanity checker? 



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SEEK goes all Village People as share price Goes West

by Brett Iredale November 21, 2008

It's good to see SEEK still have a sense of humour this week as their share price goes west young man.

I gather the new logo (below) is in honour of Movember but I couldn't help but make the Village People connection and wonder how many other one liners there are for this classic.





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How far would you go to land a new job?

by Brett Iredale October 13, 2008

Ninemsn is reporting a story today about Dumbang and Dumberono - 2 Indonesian job seekers who had their faces tattooed for a job, only to find out it was all a hoax. 

Ummmm....... guys ......... return to your village immediately and do not pass Go and do not collect $200.




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Hate your job?

by Brett Iredale October 1, 2008


No you don't !!





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Job board ads of the year

by Brett Iredale September 26, 2008

Here are some of the best job board ads you are ever likely to see.  They feature a little Gordon Ramsay and are done by Caterer.com - a job board for the hospitality industry.









<a href="http://technorati.com/claim/hji9vjwpg6" rel="me">Technorati Profile</a>

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Social networking and recruitment

by Brett Iredale September 4, 2008

Next time you hear someone banging on about the role of Facebook or MySpace in recruitment you might like to point them to this little video.  Very funny.



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The little tosser just won't go away...

by Brett Iredale September 1, 2008

These pics were sent in tonight from a mobile phone in North Sydney train station.  This is the main billboard as you get off the platform.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the train station up pops our old mate Axel from Jobs.com.au....

The person who sent this in asked "I wonder how far in advance they pre booked this slot?", but our feeling is they have probably just scraped off a few old ads and accidentally unveiled this old beauty.








(for those who missed this ad campaign first time around this was a series of TV, radio and outdoor ads run by the then Jobs.com.au web site.  The site didn't last long but the ads hold a very special place in history...)

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Possibly the most unusual recruitment web site yet...

by Brett Iredale August 29, 2008

We've seen some crackers in recent times but this one is a Friday afternoon special.

You will need a beer in your hand and your speakers on for this one.

Click on the image below, then click through the pages for more.



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Ninemsn enjoys job board threesome

by Brett Iredale August 28, 2008

Has anyone else noticed the irony of the recently tangled Ninemsn/SEEK/eBay/CareerOne web?

- Ninemsn and SEEK are CML stable mates

- eBay sits right beside Jobs in the menu bar on Ninemsn

- eBay is in bed CareerOne.

In short we have one of Australia's largest online portals enjoying a threesome with 2 of Australia's largest job boards. 

Perfectly acceptable if not a little bemusing.

















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More snakes behaving badly

by Brett Iredale August 26, 2008

Another story this morning of a snake behaving very badly...

This is why we didn't call it JobPython. 




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Clearly all the good candidates are on Facebook

by Brett Iredale August 14, 2008

Recruiters - be very careful how you treat your rejects candidates lest they turn evil and flame you on Facebook...

A Facebook group called "I F#CKING HATE Recruitment Agencies, they don't help u, they r useless" is using Facebook to showcase their superior literacy and vocabulary skills by articulating concerns with recruitment practices online. 

A few classic quotes from members of the group:

"all i want to say is arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhrrrrrrr. worse than public transport, worse than politicians, worse than rude bailiffs who threaten small children and worse than traffic wardens...yes it's job agents. patronising, cloth eared, two faced liars. the (almost) lot of them"

"god damn vampires. i swear if they tell me "sorry, its all a bit quiet" or "just put your name on the availbles list" thats already got like 10,000 names on it once more i WILL kill one of them useless pricks."

Given that recruiters now commonly check out candidates on social networks during the recruitment process I would think these gifted individuals are not doing much to help their cause....

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SMSpelling DNFB in job ads...

by Brett Iredale July 28, 2008


AFAICT TXT LNGE DNB IN JOB ADS.  AOAS IT S2B OK FOR PPL TO PUT TXT IN2 JOB ADS.  @TEOTD IT IS NTEOTW AND IT IS PAND THO A PITA IF U R A NOOB.  OMG WE !!

OK I am exhausted - that really took it out of my 30 something year old brain!  Kiddies please bear in mind WDASURL (old person guessing the SMS for "We don't all speak your language".  It's probably a real one but WCFBB checking :)

It was an interesting exercise to check a few SMS words on major job boards to see how often some of these words are appearing. Unfortunately a little too often for my taste.

Below are a few real life examples from Australian job boards....

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Anyone interesting in learning a new language can visit the SMS Dictionary here.

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Spotted in Sydney this morning...

by Brett Iredale June 25, 2008

This tinytinytiny JobsJobsJobs car....


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Has the Job Adder been holidaying in Cairns?

by Brett Iredale May 29, 2008

Our friendly adder would NEVER do anything like this. The story below is in today's Cairns Post.

Deadly snake bites man's penis

Thursday, May 29, 2008

© The Cairns Post

 

A ROADSIDE toilet stop ended in pain, embarrassment and almost death for a tourist when a highly venomous snake bit the end of his penis.


The deadly brown snake slithered between his legs and lunged at his manhood as he crouched on a roadside near Laura, 300km northwest of Cairns, about a month ago.

Details of the incident only came to light yesterday after they were confirmed by a paramedic.

"It certainly had a swipe at him," an ambulance spokesman said yesterday.

"But it didn’t envenomate him.

"As it came through it must have got a bit of a shock."

The snake beat a hasty retreat, leaving its victim with a scratch, vomiting and abdomen pain.

Emergency workers raced to the scene to treat the man.

The wound was wrapped in plastic in case poison had penetrated the skin but medical staff gave the man the all-clear after conducting tests.

He was taken to Cooktown Hospital where he spent a night recovering.

The ambulance spokesman described him as "lucky", given his near encounter with one of Australia’s most poisonous snakes.

"I think he was a bit shocked and embarrassed," he said.


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Does your job board take it for the team?

by Brett Iredale May 13, 2008

This one is too good not to share.  The oft criticised CareerBuilder.com briefly re-released this controversial but very funny promotional video this week.  Thanks to Cheesman for this little pearl.

Click the pic below to watch the video...



Can you imagine one of the stodgy old Australian job boards putting out something like this? 


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This is what happens when dorks are in charge of the company video production

by Brett Iredale April 17, 2008

We have written before about the pitfalls of producing company employment videos and here is yet more proof that you should be very careful when putting together your next you-beaut company video. 

If you work with a bunch of dorks and you put a dorky video together that tells the whole world what dorks you are then just bear in mind it may not produce the results you were hoping for.



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BREAKING NEWS : MyCareer and CareerOne joining forces

by Brett Iredale March 5, 2008




Sources today are reporting that News Ltd and Fairfax Digital are joining forces to form a new job board called MyOne.com.au.  MyOne will bring together all the best features of CareerOne and MyCareer to form a potent combination.  The new business is rumoured to be adopting the slogan "simply second" - a humorous but appropriate spin on MyCareer's "simply jobs" tag line.

Recruiters are today breathing a collective sigh of relief as the new site will put to bed the endless squabbles over who is in second place and who is third.  MyOne will be in an unassailable second position and are said to be happy to accept that position till death do they part.

Sources say job listings on the new web site are expected to be priced at around $1 an ad. 








(this story may or may not be fictitious. Please do not stampede us with requests to have the new job board enabled on your JobAdder account)

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There is only one thing worse than cartoon socks in an interview...

by Brett Iredale February 14, 2008



The only thing worse than cartoon socks in an interview is no socks at all.  We just had a person turn up here for an interview and he had a suit on and nice black shoes but no socks!!  Just bare, hairy ankles!  No one noticed until he sat down - then everyone who walked past could see his hairy ankles through the strip of non frosted glass at the bottom of the meeting room wall.

I don't know about you but I find that repulsive.  I don't even like it when a bloke sits down and you can see his hairy legs above his socks. 

I can just imagine the conversation he had with his wife this morning. 

Gross guy : "Marj have you seen my socks?  I have an interview today and I really need them"
Poor wife : "No sorry Bruce I haven't seen them. You've got 2 pairs, do you mean the grey ones or the brown ones?"
Gross guy : "Never mind I have to run to the train - no one will notice"




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